Unfortunatley, I am still suffering from the flu. But this is no ordinary flu. This is an iraqi flu.Harsh and unpredictable just like Iraq's situation now. Just when I thought I was recovering, I end up being awake the whole night spluttering with a sore throat and headaches.
So no doubt I was not in the best mood this morning. I smile all the time,but today, despite my smile, I looked like I "had awaken from the grave". I just *love* compliments.
So, since yesterday, I have had small butterflies tickling the inside of my stomach- even if you hate politics or know nothing political, today was supposed to be a day that would forever define Iraq's future. No such luck I'm afraid. Again the government delivers an impeccably spotless disappointment of an agreement. That is, the news and the neighbours claim that the agreement has still not been signed.
There was much talk of curfews, not going to school/college/university to either celebrate with limitless joy or scream with unmeasured frustration. I don't live in the greenzone, but despite this, american panzers and army stuff can be seen to be occuring. Not today though. Not even a flag was seen. Today is perhaps the first day of my stay in Iraq, that I have actually seen no sign of americans at all in Baghdad. I didn't realise this, until I nervously passed an armoured check point thing, inhabited entirely by iraqi troops. No whirring helicopters, no swearwords shouted, (which the americans assumed were not understood :D), no flags flying from jeeps. Just nothing. Its clear though why. If the governemnt had signed anything today, the reaction would have been as unpredictable as weather reports.
Today was a classic day for what iraqis clearly love to do- watch the t.v nervously all day, and then discuss the events deep into the silent night. Since I am pretty bad at talking, I thought I'd type it all up instead. :)
Older people reminisced of days gone past that had defined Iraq, whilst the younger generations hung in cafes, sipping tea or coffee while shouting with their friends at the t.v in the corner. I didn't do either, but my reliable sources are my brother (the cafe is in all practicality his home) and old neighbours/ my new friend- the old man of the corner shop. He decidedly wanted all americans out- he missed all his family who had relocated into Jordan for security reasons.
Today I also noticed that the usually cheery, and often wide awake iraqi army troops looked tired and on edge. The reason? They were worried of the backlash. This caused me to further speculate into some 'ridiculous' claims that had been made as soon as the agreement had not been signed. These claims? That the agreement had actually been signed, but the government wanted to grease Moqtada Sadr's gangs, and ease their, well, anger.
Touta silently guffawed at such rumours. Another, was that Washington had already decided what it would do regardless of whether the Iraqis signed or not. This was not such a laughable rumour, and was rather depressing.
As the day grew longer, the conspiracy theories stretched further and became more imaginative. At one point I felt like saying "Israel has dibs on Babel, according to the agreement, and they signed it!", just to see how far it would spread. But around an hour ago, the child like excitement of everyone seemed to fade away. Most of the rumours were laughed at, and discarded carelessly, while some rumours have been circulated on national news.
To tell you the truth, I don't think anyone cares for any rumours any more, or talking, or anything really.
We are all just holding our breath, silently waiting, silently clenching our jaws, as uncounted days pass by. Did I mention, an excellent occurance has occured, because of the tangible atmosphere of improvement, people are slowly beginning to remember normality. It won't be long until I can actually start to have a 'life' again. Not that I ever had one to begin with-my boredom just increased over the past few days because of the tension. Actually boredom is the wrong word to use, its not boredom, as much as a feeling of confusion and pure emptiness.
Personally, I blame the iraqi flu. Its so vicious it makes the day pass dizzily. Well, either that, or I need to start organising my hectic sleeping times. Why do I sleep in the awkwardest hours? Well the story began with the warm hug of the duvet at 8pm. I get so tired, I end up sleeping from 8-12. Then I wake nervously at 12.30am, remebering the work for the next day. Oh well, its 9.00pm now, and I may succumb to the warmth of the hug of the duvet again. *Snorrrre*
(I think the word *snorre* excellently sums up this slightly political post about what was supposed to be a momentous day...if you get my drift).