Saturday, 24 January 2009

Marv,you dummy.

Its cold. I have stopped feeling my toes, and I'm too lazy to go out of the room to get food. I'm suprised as to who packed unnumbered kilograms of food in my luggage, but I know who's idea it was.

I've officially spent an entire day in the UK now, and its been mostly lying under duvets. I don't really see the point of unpacking, so I've simply opened up the luggage bag.

Yesterday i watched a film called 'Sin City' on the tv. One sentence by the 'Marv' guy sticks needlessly in my mind, and i realise its 3.45am and i'm still awake.

"Hell's waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here"

I have, like billions through time and space, wondered what the point of life is, why i'm here, and other such philosphical questions. only yesterday, in the dark of a hotel room alone, did I realise. It doesn't matter.

After hearing bombs whistle through the air, and hearing the bursts of gunfire, after seeing people i love ill, i had to laugh at the quote. That isn't hell. That's not even anywhere near it. I laughed. When i walked in through the airport, i saw people complaining, a mother screaming at her child, and all i could think of is, do they even realise how lucky they are?

Knowing the people you love are happy and safe, being happy and content with what you have in life, seeing the beauty of the smallest things- despite people having all of this and more, they complain they don't know why they're alive?!

Its the weekend now. I have no idea what to do. We used to be close to a iraqi family, and they called me up and asked me whether i need anything, I decide I like the idea of walking around eating whatever the local newsagents have to offer.

I have stood at the tap drinking water for almost five minutes. I've missed clean water coming out of taps. And the water is already cold. Loneliness hasn't kicked in yet, I'm too preoccupied trying to remember stuff. Normal stuff. Like realising there is central heating. And electricity.
When i walked down the streets alone, I felt so open? In Baghdad, you'll end up being surrounded by protective relatives. And here everything is so...apart? Everyone's far away from each other. I miss knowing that there was at least 4 people with me to 'keep me safe' in iraq. (From what, i'm not quite sure.)

Best wishes from under 2 duvets,


Jeffrey said...


Hey, which is colder at this time of year, damp London with electricity or Baghdad without electricity?

I've just clipped from one of your blog entries for IBC:

As Much Democracy As You Can Handle.


khalid jarrar said...

Touta, email me please :)


attawie said...

True :)

Marv needs to live 17 years in your shoes to pick up some wisdom. Not just Marv, the writer, the director and all the actors in that movie :)

Please, take care and update us :)

C.H. said...

No need to get lonely Touta, you always have us to talk to :D

Seriously, enjoy your have a wonderful experience ahead of you, so embrace it ;)

Its good you are keeping us updated.

Take care and be safe while you are overseas

Jeffrey said...


Earlier I forgot to add a link to your interview with Hayder Al-Khoei, so I've added it to today's post at IBC. Good job.


moonlight said...

*smiles sadly* indeed many people don't realise how blessed they are. So many things happened in the past few years that I've found each day is a gift, one that, no matter where you are, should not take for granted.

Stay safe, keep warm, and enjoy your trip :)

C.H. said...


Thanks, I think that the world needs to hear from someone like Mr. Al-Khoei about what is really going on in Iraq.


I had to google what a "duvet" is online, haha. I was trying to figure it out at first


dave said...

i did mention it was cold :P. If it makes it any better, the weather looks like it's going to remain about the same for at least the next week, not getting any worse. Always the look on the bright side an all.

There are lots of people who don't realise how lucky they are, I suppose that's why we have the cliché of 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone.'

Miss Violet said...

Touta, my dear..
Sometimes …everyone has to feel life has no aim , no goal.. and a simple whisper , a simple word by a close person can make that aimless life has great is a grant and the wise one can live it right. But the wisdom is not for sale unfortunately.
Yes, Iraqis really need … they don't miss …coz they have not had any decent service all their life.. you have the right .. Allah esa3dich , you have spent many years abroad and certainly have got used to the fashion of life there.. for us water of Dijla and Furat is the best.. enough that they flow in the great Iraq:D:D.
Stay safe dear and wish you all best luck:)
Your friend.

Touta said...

outside baghdad is warmer, inside, uk is warmer. :)

khalid *coughs stalker* :D

you are seriously anti sin city then? :) Maybe i should do a movie. i can be all the characters, the director, and the writer. hhh

thanks, life is full of new experiences, and you have to enjoy every minute of it. :) duvet..what do you call it?

yep, everyday is a gift, and everyone is lucky in their own way. :) Stay warm too lol. :)

i think i just saw the sun!! Otherwise, the cold makes it a perfect excuse not to do anything. hehehe. :D

miss violet,
you are definatly a philospher :P.
and you are right in what you say, i suppose life is almost like a dream.
love, your friend,

C.H. said...


Well...I think that the best word that most Americans would be used to is "quilt", haha.


///RhusLancia said...

... maybe "comforter"

Praise Öbama

Lynnette In Minnesota said...

I think it is very easy to take what we have for granted. It is also easy to underestimate the resilience of the human spirit. :)

I remember when I first went away to college. It was lonely. Yes, I had friends there, but it wasn't the same as having family nearby to rely on.

Do you have plans to visit different schools? Have you already lined up those you plan to visit?

Getting out and about on some kind of schedule will make it a little less lonely and the time will go by much quicker. And you might find that you meet some interesting people at the schools you visit. :) Oh, and don't forget to check out the bookstores. There are thousands upon thousands of potential friends in there. ;) And just possibly some you wouldn't be able to meet at home.

As someone said earlier, you always have us to talk to as well. :)

Hmmm...if the duvet is down-filled then I would say our equivalent is comforter.

Stay warm. Huh! Something we say often here this time of year. :P

Miss Violet said...

Stop mocking you UNDER DUVET GIRL ..hhhhh.:P
Here In Mosul, it's really COLD!!! I'm under 1 duvet and 2 blankets right now ...hhhh.
Best wishes:)

Touta said...

ch and ///,
comforter? comforter?!

i think what you said is true, i do need a schedule,it will let me see everything rather than a mad middle eastern style rush at the end day trying to see everything.

as for the people to talk to..*starts typing multiple blog posts*

allah eesa3dich.
best wishes too. :D

JG said...

Best of luck, Touta.

I'm sure it'll all work out well for you.

C.H. said...


I am curious, will you be viewing multiple universities while you are in Europe? Or is it just this one in the UK?

Oh, and remember, all of us would like to know what it is like :D

nadia said...

I like this post a lot.

Touta said...

thanks. :D

will keep all updated

thanks. :D