Tuesday, 20 January 2009

Time goes by so slowly..

The reason I took off the changes post, was every time i came on the internet to 'revise' or do work, i read it and got more depressed. Naturally I couldn't delete it due to all the comments (many thanks to all), but at the same time it seemed too whiney compared to what other people have to go through, and i don't want to think about it frankly. Life is too short, but as long as there is breath left, there is hope.

In case you needed more proof that I do not have a life, when the holidays begin here (around 23rd january), i will travel. To the UK. To pick up 'a level' work and look at universities. Then I will return to Baghdad after either one week or two weeks abroad. All alone. The fun. Oh the Fun.

And then I will perform a juggling act which will include trying to finish all work from iraqi schools, complete work for 'a levels', decide on my life, attack some iraqi politicians for some of the things they said (i've have been to three political 'rallies'. Basically a candidate invites you to his house or restaurant while talking about politics. I wrote some quotes down. :D), surgically remove the laptop and/or pc from my body, learn how to take photos,
oh.. and the following has been hacked or virused or something:
-my facebook
-my scribd account
-my youtube
Annoyingly all three disabled my account at lightening speed. Well, I'm only annoyed at the scribd account being closed. Where else can I read stuff?
*Al Mutanabbi...*

Hospital Quotes:

grandfather:"touta, i know you don't want to go abroad to study. But look at it this way. Where will you receive the best education? You want to help your country? Then learn as best you can, and then you can return not to reign supreme with your piece of paper from a university from the 'kharij' (abroad), but to bring Iraq to the same standard"

me: "but what about my obligations to the country i study in? shouldn't i owe them something. feels a bit wrong, learning than abandoning ship"

grandfather: "we're paying $X!! When they let you learn for free, pay them back"

me: "but what if i lose my social identity?"

grandfather: "you're iraqi"


me:"it doesnt matter where i learn, but my passion to learn. my passion would be greater here, as i will see suffering everyday, and that will give me the push"

nana: "touta do it"

me: *starts thinking nana isn't really ill, conspiracy theory to guilt trip me into doing what they want*

(doctor walks by having overheard us)

doctor: "I hear sweden is especially advanced in science. Most of the new researches come from over there"

nana: "aguul (i say), touta, they speak german in sweden right? you are good at german"

doctor: "and you wouldn't feel alone. the community of iraqis there is large and have a social identity"

nana: "and the nobel is in sweden mu? You can either get a nobel touta, or marry and iraqi with one. Oh, schlon qashkha(oh how posh)"

me: *realises conversation has gone too far to mention language of Sweden is Swedish*

grandfather: "she can get one herself"

me:"yes, i hear the room in which they are stored in have little security. Only cctv cameras. no lasers"

doctor:*walks off shaking head* "iraqi to the bone. She thinks of stealing one...whats that going to achieve ya bnaya (girl)"

me:"well, i don't see what a nobel peace prize achieves in the first place. Why would anyone need an award to convince them they are heroes. they think they are so much better than everyone else, because they have a piece of metal"

grandfather: "have you met anyone with a nobel peace prize then?"

me "ummmm...nooo"

*nana and grandfather and doctor give each other knowing looks*

*touta scratches head trying to be less confused*

doctor: "trideen chai?" (you want tea?)

Time at hospital:22.15am
Touta status: refuses to go home, squinting at mobile whilst trying to blog. Hospital is thinking of naming the chair after her.


attawie said...

Touta :)

Good luck with the juggling you're about to perform :) I believe it's going to be an excellent exercise for you to discover that you can impress your self and everybody else on how you'll handle everything.

Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

I wish you all the best, will pray for you:)

signature: Someone worried his fiance would kill him for talking to Touta.

C.H. said...

Life is indeed to short to focus on the negative things. I am thankful that your grandmother is okay, and your family is doing well. I am still praying that everything will stay that way for you.

I know that it would be hard for you to leave Baghdad, but your grandpa is right...after you return to Iraq upon receiving your degree, you will help to make it a better place. In the end, you would indeed be helping your country even more. Earlier today, a friend reminded me that its always best to think of the glass as half full :D

As for your trip abroad, you are going by yourself? Really??? Well, good for you, that is quite impressive, lol. When I travel to visit my family back in Boston or my family friends in Ireland, I usually get there by myself...I guess its a good time to for self reflection, right? Haha

Oh, I have news for you. I posted the interview I did with Eye Raki over on my blog...I'm sure you would like to see it, so check it out when you have the chance. Hayder gives a stunning assessment of the situation in Iraq.

Miss Violet said...

If I can say my advice; study in UK and complete there, there are millions of students here are just smelling the smell of studying abroad( it's only a dream for them)-and those have graduated from colleges- .
you have that dream in your hands,before your eyes and at the present time.moreover you had been in UK during a period of ur life so it's not that strange thing for you:)to live among not Iraqi people.
Bets wishes.

Lynnette In Minnesota said...



Always, always do cntrl A followed by cntrl C before previewing your comment!

Okay, I'll try to remember what I said...

Miss Violet has a point. At least you have lived in the UK for a bit and are somewhat familar with the country and its people. Possibly you still have friends there. That will help you on your visit and with your future plans. Having said that, I can understand the uncertainty you feel in doing this alone. That is, without family there. I hope everything works out well for you.

I am glad to hear that your Nana is feeling better. :) Well, enough to disucss(?) with you, or strongly encourage(?) you in your future plans. ;) I hope she is well enough to leave the hospital soon.

Take care.

Touta said...

or...i may end up dropping everything and watch as the world fills with giant plastic colourful juggling balls. :D

Thank you, it means a lot. :)
signature-ha? makes no sense sorry. more clues? :)
best wishes anyway, and i hope you continue visiting the blog.

:D :D :D
Impressive? lol, just wait until i am blogging lost from mongolia to tell me how independent i am. :)
*rushes to see ch blog*

miss violet,
walla violet, if i could dress some one up as me and send them to study abroad i will, because i know how highly studying abroad is viewed, bas still :(.
You are right of course, and when i visit i will hopefully be able to convince myself.
Thank you, best wishes to mosul. :)

Or you can simply not preview your comment and post raw unchanged emotion lol. :)
Thank you for your kind words, as soon as she leaves the hospital, i will try to update, but until then... :)
best wishes from baghdad.

Lynnette In Minnesota said...

signature-ha? makes no sense sorry. more clues? :)

*whispers softly*
I suspect that's Khalid. I also suspect that he has a jealous fiance... ;)

Or you can simply not preview your comment and post raw unchanged emotion lol. :)

Well, yes, I could, but the problem was that blogger ate my comment! *sniffles*

Touta said...


yes jealousy of a 17 year old..*raises eyebrows*.
All the same, i am still slightly intrigued and want to investigate further. lol.

*pats back over lost comment*
so obama hmm?

khalid jarrar said...

loooooooooool :D :D :D

dave said...

hey touta

whatever you choose to do in the end you will be fine as long as you keep the fire burning inside (haha - I mean that, but I can't write 'poetic' things without feeling silly).

I have to admit when reading your post and your nan said how they speak German in Sweden, part of me was thinking "really, wow i didn't realise that" hahaha - a very small part of me and for 0.0001 of a second, of course :P

I warn you, its quite cold here at the moment - not that that is really too much of a surprise I'm sure. Also remember Birmingham Uni is so not about the city centre. Not that I'm ashamed of Birmingham city centre but....

When I was deciding on Universities I also looked on this - http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/forums - site, it's never going to replace seeing somewhere in person but it can be useful.

Touta said...

lol all you want, i am going to find out who it is then beat them up with a na3al for making me feel awkward
(side note to actual anonymous: kidding really i don't beat people up, i am just curious as to if you are who i think you are :) )

its very poetic, and you shouldn't feel silly, because even from 10,000 miles away, i understand what you mean. :)
:D at sweden thing.
thank you for the website, it looks very informative. :)

pepe said...

hi touta, hope things are better over there. about your choices i'm always for do what makes you happy. :) but seriously, considering that you want to work in iraq the option of studying in your country is not that bad because when you finish college you will have a good network of iraqi friends, and from my experience i'd say that sometimes friends that know and trust you are much better than a class A degree when it comes to get a job position.

C.H. said...

Touta, here is the thing...you have several paths that lead up the same mountain, you just need to choose the one that will bring you the most happiness. In the end, you will be working to help Iraq, and maybe even running for office ;)

But...would you prefer to see the world while you study? Or do you want to be in the homeland you spent so much time away from? You could meet close Iraqi friends, or meet friends from across the world. Either way, good things are going to come to you no matter what you decide :D

I wonder what a news report with a story about MP Touta will sound like someday...hopefully you won't be making a power grab, lol!

Just kidding ;)

Michomeme said...

go and take your chance, my sister already made it to the US and she back home after spending two years there, you will be stronger and you will learn lots of things...
I'm sure each one of us know him self if he is able to do it or not.
so if you are able to do it, just do it...

Miss Violet said...

ha.. take it easy..... ,girl!
you are not gonna convince your self , yourself is gonna convince you to stay there!hhhhh :D:D
Best wishes again :D

Little Penguin said...

as a student of a UK university, I can only encourage you to come and study here. I sort of understand the dilemma of having to choose to stay home or abandon ship in want of a better and more well-grounded education.. I'm lucky not to have had to make a choice.. in any case, if you happen to be in London, let me know and i'll be more than happy to assist in anything I can.. your optimism is really inspiring.. :)


Lynnette In Minnesota said...

yes jealousy of a 17 year old..*raises eyebrows*.

Ahhh, jealousy is a terrible thing.

*pats back over lost comment*

Thank you. *sniff*

so obama hmm?

The comment was far, far more important. :D

Touta said...

i had not looked at it that way before, but thats true, to make some loyalties, and find your place in society now, is benefitial. :) who said anything about class a degree? i was aiming for class c. :D

"you have several paths that lead up the same mountain"
thank you that was very inspiring. :) I just hope the mountain isn't too high to climb, i'm not that good when it comes to bumpy surfaces. :D

thank you for the advice, but there's still the worry of being alone. :) I'll take the chance though, and try to experience it again for next week.

miss violet,
can't you convince me? it would be a lot easier for myself. hhh :D

little penguin,
thank you. i was looking for your email to ask about uk universities, i don't have time to look for it, so here's mine: fogalnakhal@gmail.com. Original i know. :)

i think i know who anonymous is!! i love mysteries, and i think i solved it!! woo hoo. :)
i don't understand why so many people are against obama/other politicians when they haven't even done anything yet. :)

Anonymous said...

Ya satir! 9ar beeha ni3il!!


**puts his na3al jawwa 2ob6a o 2ishlaaaaa3**

signature: the same anonymous.

Touta said...

lazem iraqi laad. :D wa laa, ma astaghdim na3alak. Indi ani ni3il. :D

i have posted the following posters:

"iraqi male running around barefoot."

as soon as there is a sighting, you will be anonymous no more. :D

khalid jarrar said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
khalid jarrar said...


Touta said...

stick your tongue out all you want, i know it isn't you. I worked out who it is. i mean what did you expect from a serious addict of the 'X-files'.

khalid jarrar said...

oh man! haha!

who is it? we are all dying to know!

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